When you can’t keep up with the Joneses
Admit it. You compare yourself to other people. I know I do. It’s hard not to with social media, and everyone’s lives at our fingertips. Your friends are always posting their fun adventures, and their newest dress, or maybe the family across the street always has it together, while you’re struggling to drink your coffee in the morning while it’s still warm, or get to school on time. When you find yourself trying to keep up with the Joneses, remember….Shoulding, Astroturf, Disconnect.
Stop “Shoulding” Yourself
Who says you “should” be living your life any different? Should is a mean/nasty word. It’s not a cuss word, but I feel it “should” be! ;) If someone walks up to you and says you should be doing something else with your life. What’s your immediate reaction? Typically, it’s either defensiveness, or you feel shame that you aren’t meeting an expectation that was put upon you. If you don’t like it when other people tell you what you should be doing, don’t do it to yourself! Take that word out of your vocabulary. You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment in time. If you’re not then make a change, but only make the change if you want to, not because someone else thinks you “should”.
Sometimes the grass is fake
Ever heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side”? Well, sometimes that grass on the other side is astroturf. What you see on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat isn’t always reality. Let’s be honest, how many times have you posted a picture to social media on the days that are disastrous? Hair is a mess, house isn’t clean, you are home alone with nothing to do? Not often right? We make the assumption that when someone posts their best self that they are like that all the time. WRONG! You are comparing yourself to, and trying to live up to an expectation that doesn’t exist. It’s astroturf.
Disconnect from social media
Take a deep breath, I’m not telling you to delete all of your social media accounts. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed and in a mind set of comparing yourself to everyone around you, take a break from social media. Make a conscious effort to put your phone and computer away, and go do something without technology. Life is a lot more enjoyable when you’re doing what you want to do, instead of what you think you “should” be doing. Don’t want to keep up with the Joneses, then take the temptation of the Joneses out of the equation.
We all do it. We compare ourselves to others on a daily basis. We can’t help it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all unhealthy. I mean we learn how to be the person we want to become, based off other people and mentors. We also adjust our goals based on other’s expectations. So, it’s not all bad. However, when you find yourself doing a lot of negative self-talk, because you’re comparing yourself to other people, then it has crossed over from a goal driven comparison to something else. If you're struggling with this, it might be helpful to seek out a counselor near me in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX who can assist you in developing strategies to overcome this negative habit.
