When things don’t go your way
This blog may be more for myself than anyone else. Some of you know that we were supposed to be moving to a new office. This was a process that began nearly a year ago, filled with delays, inspection hiccups, and much much more. Long story short, our move has been VERY delayed! It doesn’t feel good when things don’t go your way. As a self-professed super planner, here are the three things I am focusing on this week, including self-care, to help me get through this. I thought it might help you too!
Focus on what you CAN control
Especially during construction and moving your business, there is a lot that is out of your control. I don’t know anything about permits and electricity, so I have to put my faith in other people. As someone who admittedly likes to be in control, this can be a hard pill to swallow. So, I have to focus on what I CAN control. There are probably quite a few things in your life that you can still control, even when life doesn’t seem to be going according to plan. Focus on those things. I can’t control moving, or lack of moving, but I can keep my home life consistent right now. I can also focus on packing up boxes, and keeping people informed of what is going on. Holding onto those little things can bring some relief, because it gives you a center to hold onto.
Focus on the present
I can control my thinking. It’s not an easy task sometimes, but that means I can shut out the negative thoughts and focus on reality, rather than what could go wrong, “What if this happens, what if that happens…” Future “what if” thinking only fuels anxiety. That “what if” spiral normally doesn’t come to fruition, but we sure do spend a lot of effort coming up with grand scenarios. Some of it might, but you’ll deal with it as it comes. I hear people say all the time that it’s better to have a plan, so that you aren’t blind-sided. Sure! That’s great logic. You don’t want to walk into a presentation that you have to give and not prepare, because you don’t want to get anxious about it. However, take note of whether you are planning, because it’s something that needs to be planned, or if you have crossed over to anxious “what if” planning. It’s a subtle difference, but an important distinction to make.
Focus on your mantra
Everybody’s mantra is probably different, as what works for me probably won’t work for you. Find your own that suits your personality. If you're struggling to cope with difficult emotions or situations, seeking support from a therapist in Flower Mound near you or a therapist in Southlake near you, can be a helpful option. I have a couple of mantras that really help me; “I have survived 100% of my bad days,” and “10 years from now will this matter?” Those phrases normally help put things in perspective for me. Again, those may not work for you, and that’s ok. Having a phrase, or coping statement that you can say to yourself over and over again, can relieve some worry when things seem to be spiraling out of control. Reach out ot one of our therapists at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!
“One’s greatest challenge is to control oneself.” -Kazi Shams
