Healthy Communication
To build on my previous blog post regarding Fighting Fair, I would like to discuss communication styles and how to enhance assertive communication. Assertive communication is crucial in various scenarios, including school, work, conversing with your partner, children, parents, and more. As a counselor in Flower Mound, and Southlake, TX, I can attest that there are five common communication styles we tend to adopt:
Passive-Does not express feelings or opinions, rarely says “no”, accepts unacceptable answers in order to make up for mistakes, and pleasing others is primary focus.
Indirect-Vague and apologizing in expressing feelings, says “no”, but then changes it, or apologizes, does not take action to stand up for own rights, and gives others what they want, but tries to undermine answers.
Passive-Aggressive-States feelings with a subtle insult to others, says “no”, but makes others feel guilty, manipulates for satisfaction, and says he/she is sorry, but then justifies mistakes.
Aggressive- Attacks, blames, threatens, or insults others, criticizes or blames others, tries to dominate and “bully” others, says “no” often and feels anger, and looks for ways to win at the expense of others.
*Assertive-Clear and direct statements of feelings, looks for ways that both persons can win, says “no” when needed and without feeling guilty, attempts to make up for mistakes fairly, and stands up for own and others’ personal rights.
How does one become an assertive communicator? Practice, practice, practice! “I” statements are a great way to start. Use this simple template when wanting to express feelings and needs in a way that is not criticizing:
I feel:___________________
When: __________________
Because: ________________
Can we__________________?
Effective communication is a key ingredient in maintaining healthy relationships in various aspects of life. By understanding and adopting an assertive communication style, individuals can express their feelings and needs clearly while also respecting the rights of others. Couples counseling can play a vital role in helping partners enhance their communication skills and develop a more assertive approach. Through consistent practice and the use of "I" statements, individuals can learn to express themselves without criticizing or blaming their partners. By taking responsibility for their own feelings and actions, couples can work together to find mutually beneficial solutions and build stronger connections. Couples counseling provides a supportive environment where partners can learn and apply these communication techniques, ultimately fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationship
Reach out to one of our therapists at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!
