Dating

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought this would be a good time to post a dating blog! It’s no secret that social media, and technology in general, is a huge staple in our lives. Gone are the days of only meeting someone face to face. With Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, OkCupid (Trust me there are many many more) a date is literally at your fingertips! So, what does this mean for me and you? Sure, it’s more convenient, but this also can lead to some pretty sticky situations.

Before all of this technology, most people met people through a mutual friend, or at school. I know I sound like I lived in the stone age!! Naively, there was this expectation that they had passed some sort of screening before coming to you. Those days are long gone, which means we have to do the screening ourselves! So, as you are venturing in the digital dating world, remember the three B’s. And if you ever need help navigating the challenges of dating and relationships, consider reaching out to a therapist in Flower Mound TX or Southlake, TX for guidance and support.

Buddy System

Ok, so I know I might sound like your mother when she was scolding you about going on your first date in High School, and it might seem weird to bring a friend to a date, but you can never be too safe! Your friend doesn’t have to sit down and have dinner with the two of you, but if you meet at a bar, have your friend close by. Remember, these people haven’t been screened! Plus, you never know when you might need your buddy to help you with an escape plan!

Bad Behavior (Is that two B’s or one?)

So, this isn’t as obvious as it looks. Your date isn’t going to walk up to you with a sign on their head that says “Hey! I’m a jerk!” We have to decipher that ourselves. Look at typical social cues. Are they paying attention to you, rather than their phone? Are they being nice to the waiter/bartender? Do they say ‘like’ and ‘rad’ a lot (Sorry, that’s my deal breaker)?

Boundaries

Never forget your boundaries. Everybody has different beliefs and comfortability, so be true to yours. If you don’t kiss on a first date, then don’t. If you don’t have sex on a first date, then don’t. If you don’t disclose some part of your life on a first date, then don’t. Just because someone else is more comfortable at doing certain things than you are on a first encounter, doesn’t mean that you have to be.

There are some great benefits to having technology and dating at our fingertips. This means you now get to meet all sorts of people from all walks of life, that before never would have been available to you. So, it’s not all scary. It can also be new and exciting. I will leave you with this. Obviously remember the three B’s (Buddy System, Bad Behavior, and Boundaries), but also remember the two F’s. Be Friendly and have Fun! Because what happens when you put B and F together? Boyfriend (You like what I did there?)! This is why we are dating in the first place right?!

Reach out to one of our therapists at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!